Having a baby in nicu is a strange old time in ways that many people don’t get.
You become fiercely protective of them but you have to put your trust in others to look after them.
You often have to inhibit your natural instincts to hold and comfort them because they need more treatment than you can give. You’re often told when to cuddle, when to feed, when to visit…but they’re YOUR baby and they need you there more than ever.
You need to be looked after because you’ve just given birth but you don’t want to spend time thinking about yourself, only your baby.
Life moves on outside the artificial environment of nicu and you don’t feel quite like you belong with all the bright lights, noises and people…but you don’t feel quite like you belong among the doctors, nurses and equipment either.
We were lucky. Our time in nicu was short and either through family-friendly practice or our own sheer bloody mindedness we didn’t leave the unit. Other people aren’t in the same position and the impact on their lives, minds, attachment is immeasurable.
